Chapter One
“Shala Wilder, get your skinny ass down here right now!”
My heart sank at the sound of Nettie’s frustrated tone. I knew she’d come looking for me when she realized I wasn’t in bed, but I didn’t think it would be so soon. I barely had time to get comfortable on my little perch, no chance to calm my frazzled nerves. My anxiety over the coming events was still too raw. I needed more time alone, but I wouldn’t get it.
“I mean it, girl. I know you’re up there. Don’t make me come get you.”
We both knew she couldn’t climb the thirty feet up to my little ledge. Still, I was in big trouble if I didn’t at least answer her.
Shifting onto my belly, I peered nervously over the edge to find her standing with her hands on her hips, her foot tapping out an impatient rhythm. That was just like her, always looking so stern and serious. She didn’t have a fun bone in her body. At least, not since I’d known her. She was a no-nonsense kind of woman. She didn’t have time for games, but no matter how harsh she could be, the woman loved us all fiercely.
“I’m just staring at the stars, Nettie,” I called down to her. “Don’t have a pup.”
Her wrinkled face pulled into a tight scowl. “I am well beyond my birthing years, girl. There’ll be no more heathen pups for me.”
I rolled my eyes. She’d missed the point. Again. Sometimes, I couldn’t help thinking she did it on purpose.
From behind Nettie, Rendall stepped into the open, her short cap of pale hair gleaming silver in the moonlight. “You should be sleeping, Shala. You’ll need the rest for your big day tomorrow.”
I flopped onto my back again, letting out a short puff of air. “I can’t sleep. I’m too nervous.”
My twentieth birthday—the beginning of my adult life—was only a few hours away and sleep refused to come to me. Anxiety and worry made it impossible. Not only had ten years passed since I last saw my parents, but the next few days held unknown things for me.
Over the course of my stay in the mountain stronghold, I endured the emergence of my wolf, struggled to get control of her, and mastered the art of shifting with ease and deftness. Still, I had my misgivings about the changes I faced in the coming days.
“Come down and I’ll make you some tea,” Rendall offered.
“I don’t want tea,” I grumbled. “I want to stare at the stars until my eyes cross and I fall asleep from sheer exhaustion.”
A small silence followed my confession before Rendall pressed. “Come now, Shala. Nettie may not come get you, but I will.”
The stiff tone in Rendall’s voice told me all I needed to know. She was usually one of the gentler elderwomen, but she was a good climber. If she came after me, I’d likely be thrown from the low cliff.
With great reluctance, I joined the two women and walked silently between them all the way back to the village. Nettie said goodnight once we reached the main hall, leaving me to follow Rendall to the kitchen.
I took in the serenity of the hall, sad it would be my last night there. I loved it in Fastness. I didn’t want to leave. Not only was I content with my life, but most of my friends still resided there. Even so, I knew it was my time to return home to the pack lands—to start a new life—just as every female had done before me.
When we made it to the dimly lit room, I settled on the old wooden stool at the high counter while Rendall made her famous chamomile/lavender tea. She’d made many cups for those homesick and missing their families. There was nothing better for a melancholy heart than the combination of the elderwoman’s encouraging words and the warm, soothing drink she was known for.
Watching her move around the kitchen usually calmed me, but my mind was elsewhere as she readied the kettle. All I could think about was how much my life would change over the next few days.
Many women of my kind had been through the same thing and come out on the other side of their Assertion happily paired, but that knowledge didn’t soothe me. I’d heard horror stories of pairings gone wrong; the couple despising one another. If that were the case with my victor, could I grow to love him the way a woman should love her companion, or would my life be miserable?
I was my own woman, nowhere near ready to be paired with some hardheaded, overbearing wild man. Nor was I prepared to give up my independence. Still, I knew once I ventured beyond the mountain, my life would be drastically different.
The elderwomen had spent the last ten years preparing me for the future. They’d trained me in the ways of our people; teaching me how to hunt and fight, in addition to my duties as companion and pack mate.
Though armed with the knowledge and skills, the reality of what awaited overwhelmed me. I tried reminding myself not to dwell on the details. Worry would not change the outcome, but I couldn’t keep my thoughts from the coming days and what they held for me.
The Assertion was the way of my people and had been since the beginning of time. There was no other way. I only hoped I would be compatible with my victor.
Drawing me from my troubled thoughts, Rendall sat the little white cup on the counter in front of me.
“Thank you,” I said softly before taking a small sip.
Rendall settled herself on the old oak stool across from me. With her own cup cradled in her weathered hands, she let out a quiet breath. “I understand your restlessness, Shala, but you are not alone in your dread. The Assertion is something we all must face, something we all fear in one way or another.”
My surprised gaze found her soft, sky-blue stare. Rendall afraid of anything was unheard of. Everyone knew her story was a sad one, but fear was never a word associated with her unless it was fear she instilled in others. She was a true warrior in her day. Still was, in fact. Even imagining the woman as anything but steady felt like a sacrilege of sorts.
Rendall took a sip of tea, her expression telling me she’d fallen deep in thought.
“I was such a wreck that day, so nervous I could barely stand. My pulse raced as, one by one, the volunteers stepped into the circle. My heart thundered, beating so hard and so fast I thought it would leap from my chest. There were so many big men staring at me—so many hard, determined faces—and I wanted none of them.”
I cradled the cup between my palms, letting the warmth seep into me as I drew in the tea’s light, flowery scent. “If I had a choice, I would take a bit more time to myself perhaps, but it isn’t as if I do not want a companion. I’m only afraid I won’t like the one who wins. What if we cannot get along?”
Rendall laughed softly. “You worry too much, child. Things will go your way. You will both be happy. Just as I was with my Fenris. You’ll see.”
I wanted to believe her. She was a wise woman, but there were no certainties when it came to a pairing. Especially with the wildness within the males of our kind. They were fierce creatures, and their insatiable need to claim their women sometimes overtook them.
That need was the very reason all females were sent to the stronghold in Fastness before their adolescence. As soon as the females began to develop, their hormones changed, and unpaired males of all ages found them irresistible. It didn’t matter their morals; even the best of men would go mad from the scent a female wolf emitted.
Once she was paired, however, no other male felt that driving need for her. Something in her chemistry shifted once her companion claimed her, and only those with a death wish would dare go near another wolf’s woman.
Of course, there were always exceptions: the occasional untamable male who went against pack laws and were labeled as ferals. Those unfortunate wolves were banished from the whole of our people’s community. They ran wild with other ferals and occasionally caused problems for those south of the mountain.
None had ever come into Fastness, but sometimes late at night, the distant howls of those wayward souls echoed from beyond the mountain.
I had never seen a feral, and with any luck I never would. The pack men were frightening enough. Even my own father had scared me at times when I was a child. Then again, he was an alpha, leader of the Hilderan pack. As best I could recall, my mother had never feared him, but that didn’t mean she hadn’t in the beginning.
Wondering if what Rendall said about the fear was true, I had to ask. “Were you ever afraid of Fenris?”
“I was shocked as I watched him fight, but I couldn’t take my eyes from him. He was terribly beautiful, and the sight of him made my heart pound. I kept thinking that if he could tear his opponent apart with such ease, what was he capable of doing to me?”
That was what I feared as well. Of course, I knew how to defend myself. But what good would I be against a savage male twice my size?
“He proved himself a fierce warrior, but then he dropped to his knees before me. He pledged himself to me, offering his protection and loyalty above all others.” Rendall’s eyes went dreamy and a lazy grin tugged at the corner of her mouth. “He was a beast, all covered in his opponent’s blood, his hair a wild mess atop his beautiful head, but his golden eyes held a promise of devotion. He knew nothing of me. Still, he pledged himself to me with no regard for the gathered crowd. My heart was never mine again from that moment forward.”
Rendall drew a long breath in and sighed. Her eyes met mine over the rim of her delicate teacup as she lifted it for another sip. She clearly wanted to say more, so I remained quiet, waiting for her to continue.
“That man was my life, and he stayed true to his vow until he drew his last breath. I only pray your champion is someone equally as honorable and as devoted to you as my Fenris was to me.”
The love in Rendall’s eyes gave me hope. And as I finished my tea, I sent up a prayer of my own. I asked the powers that be to favor me and give me someone I could love the way Rendall loved Fenris.
The older woman took the empty cup from my hands. “Time for bed, child. Go get some rest, and I will see you off at sunrise.”